Let’s Talk About Sex- How often, what’s normal & how to boost that libido

Posted on May 29, 2020May 29, 2020 by Andrew Orr

Sex is something that nearly every human on this planet gets to experience, and for each person, the experience of sex can be different. Many people have different perceptions on this important topic, so lets talk about sex, how often, what’s normal and how to boost that libido in those having issues.

As a healthcare practitioner who is a Master in Women’s Health Medicine and a Master of Reproductive medicine, I have to talk about the topic of sex on a daily basis. A lot of people come into my clinic (both men and women) with varying expectations and thoughts on what is normal, when concerning sex. Unfortunately a lot of people are way off the mark when it comes to a healthy sex life and what a healthy libido should be.

Libido is influenced by our health

If you do not have a healthy libido, there could be something wrong with your health. Yes, what you eat, think, do etc, all plays a part in your sexual appetite. But, we can all have differing libido’s and it is important to understand this and seek help if you are having issues. A healthy libido is a sign of a health body and healthy mind.

What defines a healthy sex life

The average healthy human being in a healthy relationship should be having sex at least 1-3 times per week, depending on age etc. I know a lot of you are lucky to be having sex 3 times per month.

What’s concerning about this is, some of these people are trying to have a baby and can’t understand why they aren’t falling pregnant. The answer is obvious, but, I’ll say it anyway, you have to have sex regularly to fall pregnant and it has to be at the right time. You need to be trying every day, or every second day of your cycle as we now know ovulation just doesn’t take place mid-cycle only.

Clinical research shows that more than 70% of people are ovulating before day 10 and after day 17 of their cycle. So if you are just trying it that small window of day 10-16, this could be the reason you aren’t falling. Btw, don’t stop having sex just because you are doing IVF. Sex (climax in particular) helps with implantation so stopping having sex is only hindering your chances of conception. I have talked about this is a previous post (click here to read)

We also now know that sperm also play a part in a health menstrual cycle as they help to trigger certain hormones to trigger ovulation and thus help with regulation of the menstrual cycle. It may explain why women using barrier methods of contraception have more issues with irregular cycles and menstrual issues. Not that we are promoting unsafe sex mind you. This is for couples in a healthy relationship. I have spoken about this is a previous post too (click here to read)

Why is climax/orgasm so important

Climax also stimulates blood flow into the uterus; helps trigger certain hormones and also helps with implantation. Climax also helps ones libido and it can even help in the treatment of depression.

We also hear the jokes about men and their ever-constant desire to have sex, but most of the time this is greatly exaggerated. In practice I am actually seeing that women are now the ones with the higher libidos and it is the men that are having all the problems. Stress is a big factor these days. We are also seeing many men with testosterone deficiency. Being overweight and unhealthy physically and mentally can be a factor also.

It has also been shown that regular sex, even if scheduled, actually helps with the libido and helps with the desire around wanting more sex.

Understanding differing libido’s

Men and women are different when it comes to libido and the desire around sex. Men need to understand that it can often take all day for a woman to arouse her desire around wanting sex. Men need to know that women need to be wooed, given playful thoughts, mind play and a place to feel safe to get her into the mood for sex. Guys, apparently helping out around the house also helps (hint, hint)

Intimacy is more than just sex

Remember sex is a healthy part of a relationship and a healthy libido shows good health. Sex is also a way of connecting with your partner and couples should find way to prioritise each other so that this connection happens regularly. It is also about intimacy and that sacred intimacy, which is on a whole other level to the physical act of just having sexual intercourse.

What affects a libido?

Many people do talk about having differing libido’s, or having trouble with libido, and it is important to understand what may be affecting ones sex drive.

So, what are some of the main things that effect libido?

The Pill – First and foremost, the pill for women. Anything that decreases fertility can decrease your sexual desire. The pill also turns off certain receptors responsible for conception, which can then turn off the libido.
Stress – Constant low grade, or high grade stress, is a big problem when it comes to loss of libido. It can cause impotence & erectile dysfunction in men and loss of libido and menopausal symptoms in women.
Medications – Drugs such as anti-depressants, the pill, anti-inflammatories, and lots of other medications can ruin your sex life. They can also delay or stop orgasm. There are some that can improve it too. Not many!
Alcohol and recreational drugs– This one is pretty self explanatory. We’ve all heard the saying ‘Fosters flop’ from drinking too much beer. Drugs such as marijuana, speed, and other illicit drugs can all impair libido
Sexual Abuse– A history of sexual abuse can definitely affect the sex life. This needs to be dealt with by speaking to a counsellor, psychologist or sex therapist.
Health Problems– Health problems such as Low Thyroid, Diabetes, being overweight, depression, eating disorders, can interfere with your libido and sex life.
STD’s– Some STD’s are often undetected and cause pain and discomfort during sex, which leads to not wanting to have sex. Many of these can be cleared up with medication so that your sex life can return to normal. Some STD’s are there for life but can be controlled. STD’s such as herpes and HIV don’t have to stop your sex life.
Gynaecological issues – Some gynaecological disease states such as Endometriosis and Adenomyosis can make sex painful and cause a lack of desire. Have a read of my article about painful sex. Women with PCOS can have low libido as a result of hormonal fluctuations and insulin resistance.
Diet– This is a big one. If you eat the wrong foods the body will respond accordingly. Your sex life can be ruined by what you put in your mouth to sustain your body.
Exercise– Over-exercising can stop you getting a period and cause fertility issues in both men and women. Reduce the exercise and the libido will respond accordingly. Exercise can also increase libido. It is about moderation.

Final Word

If you are having trouble with your libido there are many medical and natural products that have been shown to assist with low libido and help with a healthy sex life for both men and women. It is important that you talk to a qualified healthcare practitioner about issues to do with sex and libido. You need to see an expert who is trained to know issues that may be causing your particular issues. The can also give you dietary and lifestyle advice to help in this area too.

If you do need help with issues around sex and libido, please give my friendly staff and call and find out how I can assist you. I also have a great network of sex therapists, psychologists and medical specialists I work in with as well.

Regards

Andrew Orr

-No Stone Left Unturned

-Master of Women’s Health Medicine

-Master of Reproductive Medicine

-The Women’s Health Experts

Sex Around The Time of Embryo Transfer Increases The Likelihood of Successful Early Embryo Implantation and Development.

Posted on May 26, 2020May 27, 2020 by Andrew Orr

Research has now shown that sex around the time of embryo transfer increases the likelihood of successful early embryo implantation and development.

Intercourse during an IVF cycle has the potential to improve pregnancy rates and there is adequate research to now back this up. We know that in animal studies, exposure to semen is reported to promote embryo development and implantation.

Intercourse may assist implantation

This is actually good news for humans as well as it shows that intercourse may act to assist implantation. Animal studies reveal that exposure to seminal plasma, the fluid component of the ejaculate, is particularly important for achieving normal embryo development and implantation. Animals that become pregnant through artificial insemination or embryo transfer without being exposed to seminal plasma have substantially lower rates of implantation than those exposed to seminal plasma (Pang et al., 1979; Queen et al., 1981; O et al., 1988; Flowers and Esbenshade, 1993), while rodents inseminated with spermatozoa prior to blastocyst transfer also have a higher rate of implantation compared with those not exposed to spermatozoa (Carp et al., 1984).

Intercourse may influence pregnancy success rates

A multicentre prospective randomised controlled trial was conducted through IVF centred around the world, including Australia. The study was conducted to determine if intercourse around the time of embryo transfer, or just before and embryo transfer in an IVF cycle, actually has the potential to have any influence on pregnancy success rates.

Participants in Australian IVF clinics underwent frozen embryo transfer (FET) and participants in Spain IVF clinics did fresh embryo transfer. Participants were randomised to either have intercourse, or to abstain from intercourse around the time of embryo transfer.

The study showed that there was no significant difference in the pregnancy rates between those couples that abstained and those that had intercourse. However, the portion of transferred embryos that made it to 6-8 weeks gestation was significantly higher in the women exposed to semen compared to those who abstained.

This landmark multi-centre international study showed that women who had sex around the time of embryo transfer, and who were exposed to semen around the time of embryo transfer, had increased likelihood of successful early embryo implantation and development.

Couples need to be having more sex during IVF cycles

One of the things that I always promote as part of my fertility program, is that regular sex is so important for our fertility patients, on many levels. Sometimes the obvious eludes some people though.

One of the things we see quite regularly is that couples doing Assisted Reproduction (ART) are abstaining from sex fearing it will affect their chances of conceiving. Actually the opposite is true. By not having sex during ART cycles (IUI, IVF etc) you are affecting your chances of conception.

I have spoken about the importance of sex and orgasm assisting implantation in other posts and there is so much medical research to back this up. This is seen in the research I have talked about above.

Let’s be real and look at the facts

Let ask the question “If you were trying naturally, would you stop having sex for fear that conception has taken place?”

Then why would you stop having sex around an ART cycle?

Let’s face the facts, implantation takes place in the uterus, and not the vagina, and no man is that well endowed to even penetrate the cervix, so…. Let’s get a grip here

The question to ask is “What does an embryo feed off and need to successfully implant?”

The answer is blood!

Think of a tick borrowing into skin to feed off its host.

How do you get blood flow into the uterine lining?

The answer is that sex and climax stimulate blood flow to the lining to assist implantation and also prepare the lining for implantation. Nature has given us all the tools for healthy conception to take place, and yet many of us just aren’t using them.

Sex is more than just and egg and a sperm

Don’t forget that regular sex during this time not only helps assist implantation, but it also helps with the bonding process and physical connection process during this stressful time. Many couples split up because of losing this connection during the ART process and sex is a way of keeping that physical and emotional connection. Sex also tells your body you are also preparing to conceive on another level too.

For those doing IVF etc, next time you are doing an ART cycle maybe it is time to start doing things the way nature intended to give you that boost you so desperately are needing. Go get busy people

Final Word

If you are struggling to fall pregnant, or need advice with preconception care, please give my friendly staff a call and find out how my fertility program, which has helped over 12,500 babies into the world, may be able to assist you too.

Regards

Andrew Orr

– No Stone Left Unturned

-Master of Reproductive Medicine

-Master of Women’s Health Medicine

-The International Fertility Experts

References:

http://humre.oxfordjournals.org/content/15/12/2653.short…
Bellinge, B.S., Copeland, C.M., Thomas, T.D. et al. (1986) The influence of patient insemination on the implantation rate in an in vitro fertilization and embryo transfer program. Fertil. Steril. , 46, 252–256.
Carp, H.J.A., Serr, D.M., Mashiach, S. et al. (1984) Influence of insemination on the implantation of transfered rat blastocysts. Gynecol. Obstet. Invest. , 18, 194–198.
Coulam, C.B. and Stern, J.J. (1995) Effect of seminal plasma on implantation rates. Early Pregnancy , 1, 33–36.
Fishel, S., Webster, J., Jackson, P. and Faratian, B. (1989) Evaluation of high vaginal insemination at oocyte recovery in patients undergoing in vitro fertilization. Fertil. Steril. , 51, 135–138.
Franchin, R., Harmas, A., Benaoudia, F. et al. (1998a) Microbial flora of the cervix assessed at the time of embryo transfer adversely affects in vitro fertilization outcome. Fertil. Steril. , 70, 866–870.
Franchin, R., Righini, C., Olivennes, F. et al. (1998b) Uterine contractions at the time of embryo transfer alter pregnancy rates after in-vitro fertilization. Hum. Reprod. , 13, 1968–1974.
Marconi, G., Auge, L., Oses, R. et al. (1989) Does sexual intercourse improve pregnancy rates in gamete intrafallopian transfer? Fertil. Steril. , 51, 357–359.
Pang, S.F., Chow, P.H. and Wong, T.M. (1979) The role of the seminal vesicles, coagulating glands and prostate glands on the fertility and fecundity of mice. J. Reprod. Fertil. , 56, 129–132.
Qasim, S.M., Trias, A., Karacan, M. et al. (1996) Does the absence or presence of seminal fluid matter in patients undergoing ovulation induction with intrauterine insemination? Hum. Reprod. , 11, 1008–1010.

When Males Do Not Want to Initiate Intimacy and Sex in a Relationship. Let’s talk about it.

Posted on March 21, 2019March 21, 2019 by Andrew Orr

Today’s topic is ‘When Males Do Not Want to Initiate Intimacy and Sex in a Relationship. Let’s Talk about it.’

I got asked to comment on this very important topic after talking to one of my patients today.

Often there is a perception that all males have high libidos and nothing could be further from the truth. Libidos differ in all relationships and sometime the female will have a higher libido that the male.

In this video I talk about some of the reasons why and what can be done to help this issue for couples.

I have also done an article on Exercises for Better Sex

Regards

Dr Andrew Orr