Let’s Talk About Sex- How often, what’s normal & how to boost that libido

Posted on May 29, 2020May 29, 2020 by Andrew Orr

Sex is something that nearly every human on this planet gets to experience, and for each person, the experience of sex can be different. Many people have different perceptions on this important topic, so lets talk about sex, how often, what’s normal and how to boost that libido in those having issues.

As a healthcare practitioner who is a Master in Women’s Health Medicine and a Master of Reproductive medicine, I have to talk about the topic of sex on a daily basis. A lot of people come into my clinic (both men and women) with varying expectations and thoughts on what is normal, when concerning sex. Unfortunately a lot of people are way off the mark when it comes to a healthy sex life and what a healthy libido should be.

Libido is influenced by our health

If you do not have a healthy libido, there could be something wrong with your health. Yes, what you eat, think, do etc, all plays a part in your sexual appetite. But, we can all have differing libido’s and it is important to understand this and seek help if you are having issues. A healthy libido is a sign of a health body and healthy mind.

What defines a healthy sex life

The average healthy human being in a healthy relationship should be having sex at least 1-3 times per week, depending on age etc. I know a lot of you are lucky to be having sex 3 times per month.

What’s concerning about this is, some of these people are trying to have a baby and can’t understand why they aren’t falling pregnant. The answer is obvious, but, I’ll say it anyway, you have to have sex regularly to fall pregnant and it has to be at the right time. You need to be trying every day, or every second day of your cycle as we now know ovulation just doesn’t take place mid-cycle only.

Clinical research shows that more than 70% of people are ovulating before day 10 and after day 17 of their cycle. So if you are just trying it that small window of day 10-16, this could be the reason you aren’t falling. Btw, don’t stop having sex just because you are doing IVF. Sex (climax in particular) helps with implantation so stopping having sex is only hindering your chances of conception. I have talked about this is a previous post (click here to read)

We also now know that sperm also play a part in a health menstrual cycle as they help to trigger certain hormones to trigger ovulation and thus help with regulation of the menstrual cycle. It may explain why women using barrier methods of contraception have more issues with irregular cycles and menstrual issues. Not that we are promoting unsafe sex mind you. This is for couples in a healthy relationship. I have spoken about this is a previous post too (click here to read)

Why is climax/orgasm so important

Climax also stimulates blood flow into the uterus; helps trigger certain hormones and also helps with implantation. Climax also helps ones libido and it can even help in the treatment of depression.

We also hear the jokes about men and their ever-constant desire to have sex, but most of the time this is greatly exaggerated. In practice I am actually seeing that women are now the ones with the higher libidos and it is the men that are having all the problems. Stress is a big factor these days. We are also seeing many men with testosterone deficiency. Being overweight and unhealthy physically and mentally can be a factor also.

It has also been shown that regular sex, even if scheduled, actually helps with the libido and helps with the desire around wanting more sex.

Understanding differing libido’s

Men and women are different when it comes to libido and the desire around sex. Men need to understand that it can often take all day for a woman to arouse her desire around wanting sex. Men need to know that women need to be wooed, given playful thoughts, mind play and a place to feel safe to get her into the mood for sex. Guys, apparently helping out around the house also helps (hint, hint)

Intimacy is more than just sex

Remember sex is a healthy part of a relationship and a healthy libido shows good health. Sex is also a way of connecting with your partner and couples should find way to prioritise each other so that this connection happens regularly. It is also about intimacy and that sacred intimacy, which is on a whole other level to the physical act of just having sexual intercourse.

What affects a libido?

Many people do talk about having differing libido’s, or having trouble with libido, and it is important to understand what may be affecting ones sex drive.

So, what are some of the main things that effect libido?

The Pill – First and foremost, the pill for women. Anything that decreases fertility can decrease your sexual desire. The pill also turns off certain receptors responsible for conception, which can then turn off the libido.
Stress – Constant low grade, or high grade stress, is a big problem when it comes to loss of libido. It can cause impotence & erectile dysfunction in men and loss of libido and menopausal symptoms in women.
Medications – Drugs such as anti-depressants, the pill, anti-inflammatories, and lots of other medications can ruin your sex life. They can also delay or stop orgasm. There are some that can improve it too. Not many!
Alcohol and recreational drugs– This one is pretty self explanatory. We’ve all heard the saying ‘Fosters flop’ from drinking too much beer. Drugs such as marijuana, speed, and other illicit drugs can all impair libido
Sexual Abuse– A history of sexual abuse can definitely affect the sex life. This needs to be dealt with by speaking to a counsellor, psychologist or sex therapist.
Health Problems– Health problems such as Low Thyroid, Diabetes, being overweight, depression, eating disorders, can interfere with your libido and sex life.
STD’s– Some STD’s are often undetected and cause pain and discomfort during sex, which leads to not wanting to have sex. Many of these can be cleared up with medication so that your sex life can return to normal. Some STD’s are there for life but can be controlled. STD’s such as herpes and HIV don’t have to stop your sex life.
Gynaecological issues – Some gynaecological disease states such as Endometriosis and Adenomyosis can make sex painful and cause a lack of desire. Have a read of my article about painful sex. Women with PCOS can have low libido as a result of hormonal fluctuations and insulin resistance.
Diet– This is a big one. If you eat the wrong foods the body will respond accordingly. Your sex life can be ruined by what you put in your mouth to sustain your body.
Exercise– Over-exercising can stop you getting a period and cause fertility issues in both men and women. Reduce the exercise and the libido will respond accordingly. Exercise can also increase libido. It is about moderation.

Final Word

If you are having trouble with your libido there are many medical and natural products that have been shown to assist with low libido and help with a healthy sex life for both men and women. It is important that you talk to a qualified healthcare practitioner about issues to do with sex and libido. You need to see an expert who is trained to know issues that may be causing your particular issues. The can also give you dietary and lifestyle advice to help in this area too.

If you do need help with issues around sex and libido, please give my friendly staff and call and find out how I can assist you. I also have a great network of sex therapists, psychologists and medical specialists I work in with as well.

Regards

Andrew Orr

-No Stone Left Unturned

-Master of Women’s Health Medicine

-Master of Reproductive Medicine

-The Women’s Health Experts

Regular sex found to trigger ovulation in females & make them more fertile.

Posted on May 25, 2020May 25, 2020 by Andrew Orr

Regular sex isn’t just beneficial for ones health, physical and mental well being and happiness. Researchers have now found that regular sex and a protein in seminal fluid actually helps to trigger ovulation in females and make them more fertile to sustain a pregnancy.

Semen isn’t just a vehicle for carrying sperm

Semen isn’t just a vehicle for carrying sperm and studies actual now show that it also plays a crucial role in triggering ovulation. Researchers have discovered the protein in the seminal fluid acts as a hormonal signal on the female brain. This triggers the release of other hormones that signal the ovaries to release an egg.

The international team of researchers at the University of Saskatchewan, found this protein in a variety of mammals and say it plays an important role in reproduction in all mammals.

Male mammals have accessory sex glands that contribute seminal fluid to semen, but the role of this fluid and the glands that produce it are not well understood. From the results of the research, it is now understood that these glands produce large amounts of a protein that has a direct effect on the female brain and reproductive organs.

Ovulation Inducing Factor (OIF)

The protein, which was dubbed the ‘ovulation-inducing factor’ (OIF), works through the hypothalamus of the female brain. This part of the brain links the nervous system to the endocrine system (a system of glands that secrete hormones into the blood stream) via the pituitary gland.

The idea that a substance in mammalian semen has a direct effect on the female brain is not a new one, but now there is research to back these theories up. The scientists also discovered it is the same molecule that regulates the growth, maintenance, and survival of nerve cells.

OIF affects ovulation and fertility

In this study, they also looked at how OIF not only affected ovulation in females, but how it also affected their fertility and chances of a pregnancy.

For the purposes of the study, the research team looked at two species of mammals, that being llamas and cattle. They did this because Llamas are ‘induced ovulators, meaning that they ovulate only when they have been inseminated. Cows and humans on the other hand are ‘spontaneous ovulators,’ meaning that a regular build up of hormones stimulates the release of an egg.

Using a variety of techniques, the researchers found OIF present in semen samples taken from both animals. However, when they injected the llamas with this protein it caused them to ovulate. The same effect wasn’t seen in cattle.

While OIF didn’t appear to induce ovulation in spontaneous ovulators, such as cows and human, it did affect fertility in different ways. The protein was found to effect the timing of when cattle developed follicles (fluid-filled sacs in the ovary which carry the eggs). The researcher also found that OIF promoted the development of a temporary endocrine structure needed to sustain pregnancy.

Research has broaden our understanding of ovulation and fertility

This research definitely helps to broaden our understanding of the mechanisms that regulate ovulation and also helps to raises some interesting insights into fertility. More research is needed to see what role OIF plays in human fertility, as the researchers suspect it will be exactly the same. The study appeared in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

It is great to see this research getting out there and this is something that I have promoted and taught for ages. It is great to see actual research to back up what I have teaching for years. Let’s face it, many of our advancements in fertility have actually come from veterinary science through use of IVF in cattle.

Couples undergoing IVF need to be having more sex

This is also great research that showed why couples trying to have a baby, or undergoing fertility treatments (IVF etc) need to still be having sex. It isn’t rocket science, yet so many people forget basic biology and that we are actually still an animal.

The problem is that so many couples actually stop having sex when doing assisted reproduction such as IVF. While I can totally understand the whole emotional aspect of why, it is still hindering their chances of conception and having a successful pregnancy. It is a truth that must be talked about and also get couples to understand.

Regular sex also helps with connection for the couple

I am always telling them how important it is to still have an active sex life, for the benefit of a happy, healthy relationship. It is also about the connection and not just about having sex. We do see so many couples split up while undergoing IVF and assisted reproduction, and some of this is purely due to lack of bonding and connection with their partner.

But even so, regular sex and intercourse also gives the chance of a natural pregnancy too, no matter how slim the chance for some couples. We still see couples that have done multiple cycles of IVF still conceiving naturally, but you actually have to have sex for this to happen.

Now we have research, which shows that a protein in seminal fluid actually acts as a hormonal signal that actually triggers ovulation, improves egg quality and may in fact make a woman more fertile for a pregnancy to take place. Again, when you look at this logically, it really is not rocket science and really is easy to understand.

Regular sex while doing IVF improves pregnancy rates.

This is why it is so important for all our couples using ART (Assisted Reproduction Therapy) and IVF to still keep having sex. Regular sex and more importantly regular climax, increases your sex hormones, helps regulate hormones, increases blood flow to the uterine lining, helps with libido, helps with egg quality, helps for better ovulation and most of all improves your fertility and the chance of sustaining a pregnancy. There is also research to show that regular sex before and after IVF transfer, improves pregnancy rates and I will talk about this research in another article on it’s own.

Final Word

If you are struggling to have a baby, and need help with fertility issues, then talk to my friendly staff about how our fertility program might be able to assist you. It has helped over 12,500 babies into the world… and counting.

Regards

Andrew Orr

-No Stone Left Unturned

-Master of Reproductive Medicine

-Master of Women’s Health Medicine

-The International Fertility Experts

When Males Do Not Want to Initiate Intimacy and Sex in a Relationship. Let’s talk about it.

Posted on March 21, 2019March 21, 2019 by Andrew Orr

Today’s topic is ‘When Males Do Not Want to Initiate Intimacy and Sex in a Relationship. Let’s Talk about it.’

I got asked to comment on this very important topic after talking to one of my patients today.

Often there is a perception that all males have high libidos and nothing could be further from the truth. Libidos differ in all relationships and sometime the female will have a higher libido that the male.

In this video I talk about some of the reasons why and what can be done to help this issue for couples.

I have also done an article on Exercises for Better Sex

Regards

Dr Andrew Orr

17 Reasons You Should Having Regular Sex and Orgasms

Posted on February 4, 2019September 9, 2019 by Andrew Orr

Part of my job as a healthcare practitioner with a special interest in and reproductive conditions, and women’s and men’s health conditions, is to talk about sex, talk about climax and the benefits of this for a couple, or an individual.

Regular sex, or regular climax, can help have many benefits for an individual, with it helping everything from menstrual pain, right through to increasing pregnancy rates, regulation of the menstrual cycle and even helping moods, sleep and helping your live longer

Here are 17 reasons why you should be having regular climax, or regular sex and many of the health benefits that go with it.

1.It’s Exercise
It’s not necessarily a full workout, but it can be as good for you as moderate exercise. It raises your heart rate about the same as a brisk walk or a slow bike ride.

2.Good for a Woman’s Heart
Women who have sex a couple of times a week are less likely to get heart disease than those who have it once a month. Whether that’s because healthier women enjoy it more often, or because it helps protect a woman’s heart is unclear.

3.May Help Your Headache
Say goodbye to the old standby “Not tonight, Dear. I have a headache.” It turns out sex can help with pain, and that includes some kinds of headaches, such as migraines. Not feeling frisky? Try: “Not tonight, Honey. I have a highly contagious stomach bug.” Works every time.

4.Lowers Stress
People who have more sex are less anxious when they’re faced with stressful tasks like public speaking or arithmetic. But according to the study, it only works when you have a partner — masturbation doesn’t count.

5.You May Live Longer
One study suggested that married women who climaxed more often had a slight tendency to live longer. Researchers aren’t sure if the sex actually lengthens your life or it’s just a side effect of a healthy lifestyle. But why take any chances?

6.Sharpens Your Mind
Sex has been linked to the making of new brain cells, and that’s a good thing. People over 50 who had more sex were better able to recall numbers and do basic math, and the difference was pretty big. It seemed to help men more than women, but both did better than those who had less sex.

7.Makes You Happy
You don’t have to overdo it — once a week is plenty. More than that, and the effect fades. But scientists only studied couples in committed relationships, so if you’re trying to meet your quota by picking up strangers at your local bar, all bets are off.

8.Bonds You to Your Partner
The hormone oxytocin is released during sex, and it sparks feelings of intimacy, affection, and closeness with your partner. That helps build a strong, stable relationship, which is good for everyone.

9.Keeps You Lean
The more sex you have, the slimmer you’re likely to be. Is that because more sex keeps you trim? Or because lean people have more sex? Scientists don’t really know, but all you need is a partner and a bathroom scale to try to find out.

10.Good for Mental Health
Adults in committed relationships who have more sex are less likely to be depressed or take medication for mental health issues. Orgasm also helps with the release of beneficial hormones such as oxytocin and these help us feel euphoric and also help with other endorphins in the body. These then make us feel better emotionally.

11.May Help Your Immune System
Move over, vitamin C. College students who had sex twice a week had more cold-fighting antibodies in their saliva than those who had sex less often. Couples who have regular sex have healthier immune systems and tend to be healthier overall.

12.Helps You Sleep
Orgasm triggers a surge of endorphins and oxytocin in both men and women, and that dulls pain and relaxes you. Both of those can help you sleep more easily, though according to scientists — and many women — the effect is more pronounced in men.

13.Lowers Risk of Cancer
Men who have more sex may be less likely to get prostate cancer, and women less likely to get breast cancer. Pregnancy and contact with sperm are both linked to the lower risk in women.

14.You Could Make a Baby
If you’re trying to have a baby, the more sex you have, the more likely you are to hit the right time of the month. But more sex may also prime women for pregnancy and improve sperm quality in men, which can speed things along. An egg has but 24 hours to be fertilized otherwise it dies. We also know that ovulation does not occur just mid-cycle either. Couples doing IVF also need to have regular sex as climax helps with implantation (by hormones and increased blood supply into the lining) and sperm also assist in helping with implantation as well. Many couples stop having sex during IVF and this is where they are going wrong.

15.It helps regulate your menstrual cycle
Regular climax nourishes the uterine and vagina with blood flow, but it also stimulates hormones, which help to also nourish the uterus, vagina and reproductive organs. Oxytocin helps with moods but it also helps with keeping your cycle regular. Research has also shown that sperm actually help to trigger ovulation.

16.Climax helps with Gynaecological issues and menstrual pain
Regular climax (not just sex with penetration) helps with increasing blood flow into the pelvic cavity, the uterine lining, vagina and surrounding areas which helps to keep your reproductive organs and muscles healthy. Hormones and increased blood flow also help with pain and circulation too. Climax helps with the microcirculation of the reproductive organs and also helps with keeping ovarian function regular and healthy too. As said before regular climax can help trigger ovulation, keep the cycle regular, but sperm can also help with this also. We do know that some women with endometriosis and adenomyosis do have pain with penetrative sex, but climax does not necessarily need for penetration to happen.

NB- If you do have pain with intercourse, please make sure you get investigated properly as there are treatments and management to help this.

17.Helps Your Future Health and is Anti-Aging.
People who have more sex may have better quality of life — and not just now, but in the future, too. If you have an active sex life in middle age, you’re more likely to keep it up as you get older, which is linked to better health and happiness. Regular sex and climax is also anti-aging.

Final Word

Please remember that sex and regular climax has more benefits to it that the actual enjoyment part of it. It helps with intimacy, helps bring couples closer together and it helps with many other health benefits in the body. In practice I am seeing a huge disconnect with both men and women and their reproductive organs and this is why we are seeing so many issues with gynaecological conditions, couples not being able to conceive, relationships issues and issues with peoples health and lifestyles.

In a healthy relationship, couples should be having sex at least 1-3 times per week and if you are trying to have a baby, you should be having sex everyday and be going for it multiple times per day to increase your chances of conception. Maybe it’s time to turn off the TV, close the computer, turn off the mobile phone and spend more time in the bedroom with your own lives, then watching someone else’s. You will be healthier and happier for it in the long run.

If you do want to find out more about my fertility program, or how I may be able to assist you with a women’s health condition, please call my friendly staff and they will explain everything to you.

Take care

Regards

Andrew Orr

-Women’s and Men’s Health Advocate

-No Stone Left Unturned